Tell me how you really feel, would ya?…
We teach kids all about feelings identification, show them a poster of emojis with feelings words, teach them to specify what they’re feeling.
Then somehow we lose that along the way.
If I think more deeply about what I’m feeling, it’s never just fine, good, bad or anything so vague.
For example, if I’m in a “bad mood,” it could boil down to being hungry, dehydrated, tired, overwhelmed with a task, not speaking up about something that’s bugging me. Or maybe I have a migraine, which tends to make me cranky and impatient. None of those things are “bad” things to feel…they just need a little attention in one way or another.
If I’m like gahh I’m in a great mood! Why and what does great mean? Did I sleep well and am feeling energized? Am I looking forward to something? Am I feeling gratitude? Was it a certain person I was around, or something I did for myself that is making me feel awesome? Is it the weather, or what I ate?
Or if I’m in an ugh-I-feel-like-crap-about-myself-right-now space, I think about where that came from. Maybe I’m in clothes that make me feel self conscious, or maybeee I went on an Insta spiral and found myself on someone’s account – someone whose message or images really don’t jive well with me, and for whatever reason make me feel down about myself. (Anyone else gone on one of these spirals?!) How can I shift this mood? Change clothes, get comfortable. Unfollow that person and remind myself not to look through those kinds of accounts.
Our feelings aren’t all some variation of ‘good’ or ‘bad’.
Give a label (a specific one!) to what you’re *actually* feeling. It’s so helpful for your self-awareness, and for others around you too. Your connections get deeper, your relationships more authentic. And bonus, you’ll be more honest and true to yourself and what’s going on for you. Not bad, right!?
Think of something specific you’re feeling right this moment…can you figure out where it’s coming from?