A couple weeks after giving birth a friend told me, “You’re making this look easy…this is false advertising!”
And she’s right. Becoming a mom – especially the first days when everything is unknown and different, and you’re all exhausted and emotional – isn’t easy. We chose to spend the first 5 days alone, and it was a complete blur yet somehow I remember it vividly.
It wasn’t just about cute newborn pics. It was raw as heck. Emotionally, physically, everything-lly.
99% of those days were spent walking around in a bathrobe and blood-soaked, ice-pack-filled diaper, with engorged boobs leaking all over the place, torn up nipples, and peeing every time I bent down.
You’re on the no sleep, raging hormone rollercoaster.
Questioning if you have any clue what you’re doing (no one does, of course).
Is he too hot? No maybe he’s cold. I don’t think he’s eating enough. Omg I think I overfed him. Holy shit my nipples are going to break off. I’m so covered in puke. Have I showered recently? I’m so tired. Please help me. No not like that, I’ll do it. I don’t think he’s breathing, I’m going in. No one go in, he just fell asleep!
Sound familiar, anyone?
Each minute of it is vulnerable because you have someone’s life in your hands – someone who’s also vulnerable, and who you happen to love more than anything else in the world.
I’d sob my eyes out with happiness and disbelief that we had created this incredible little being and that he was finally here in this world.
Any emotions that strong, even when they’re positive, are completely overwhelming. AmIRight?!
For me, it wasn’t easy and it’d be false advertising to say it was. But it was puuuure bliss.
It was the most vulnerable I’ve ever felt and yet somehow also the most empowered. By far.
It’s pretty freakin incredible how much strength can be found in moments of vulnerability.
When have you been totally vulnerable and at the same time (or maybe because of that) you found more strength than you knew you had?