I spent so many years of my life not willing to be vulnerable. I didn’t realize it at the time. To me, I was just being strong.
Don’t show those big bad emotions. Smile & be positive. Don’t let anyone worry. You’ll cause stress. Don’t show your struggles. You don’t need help. You shouldn’t feel this way.
It’s a defense mechanism. Self-protection, really. If I can guard myself (and others) from these “negative” emotions, if I can ignore them, they’ll go away and I won’t have to feel them. It’s better, safer, easier, we tell ourselves.
But it’s not better and safer. The feelings don’t go away just because you don’t show them. They may not be visible, but they’re tearing you up inside. The longer they sit unattended to the stronger they get and the more they hurt.
And it’s not easier. It’s so freaking tiring being fine all the time. Showing up as this half version of yourself, hiding parts that make you you because you think it’ll keep everyone else content, or that life’s made better without having to hurt.
What if you showed up with all your emotions, gave those other parts of you the attention they need? Would your friends/family/coworkers go running and think you’re crazy?
Or would they appreciate your honesty, authenticity, and depth? Would they be able to relate more to you because they’re human too and experience the same? Would they be comforted seeing you’re not perfect & they’re not crazy for feeling what they feel?
And wouldn’t you feel more true to you, stronger acknowledging all you go through, less alone? You could fully experience the happy, joyful, connected feelings…because if you’re not letting some feelings be felt you can’t truly soak up the other ones.
I challenge you to show up with all of you…when exhausted and overwhelmed, frustrated at your child/spouse, hurt by a friend, ashamed of your body, triggered by a memory, embarrassed by what you did, heartbroken by loss, craving support.
Let yourself feel these things. They need you. They deserve it