I’m Elle Black, a blogger and coach helping moms ditch shame & perfectionism so they can take care of themselves, too.
MOTHERHOOD’S MESSY. LET’S DO IT TOGETHER!
You know what’s really hard to do, especially once you’re a mom?
Take care of yourself. Find time for yourself. Give yourself grace.
Somewhere along the line you’re taught that you should wear your exhaustion, depletion, hustle, and selflessness as a badge of honor. You start believing that your needs don’t matter now that you’re a mom.
You beat yourself up about how you’re handling motherhood, how you look, your parenting choices. You feel badly doing things for yourself, needing time alone, missing parts of your pre-baby life.
And you try to be a perfect mom – to do it all, make it look easy, never show your struggles or ask for help.
You may have forgotten but I’m here to remind you…
You’re worthy of so much more.
So what is shame-free motherhood?
Well, the truth is, you can’t totally get away from shame. But you can lighten its load and normalize it because we all experience it sometimes.
That feeling of not being enough, being inadequate…The fear that if you don’t show up perfectly you won’t be accepted or liked…The constant hustle trying to people-please and prove your worth…The belief that you don’t deserve the same care and support as others…
During pregnancy and postpartum you can go through so much unspoken shame – about your parenting, changing body, need for breaks and self-care, decision whether to return to a job, ability to juggle all the household duties and roles, you name it.
You carry so much – and that shit gets heavy.
There’s a lot of beliefs out there about what motherhood should look like.
Shame-free motherhood is ditching the “shoulds” and seeing that there’s not one right way to be a mom. It’s understanding that your health and happiness matter, and that running yourself ragged isn’t something to be celebrated. It’s throwing out the constant I’m-not-enough thoughts and comparisons. It’s giving yourself grace when it feels like nothing you’re doing is working. It’s being kind to your body even when you feel like a stranger in it. It’s asking for help and support when you need it. It’s knowing that wanting breaks from mom’ing doesn’t make you a bad mom. It’s ditching the hustle for perfection and seeing that you’re worthy just as you are right now.
Want to know a little more about me?
Think of me as your virtual mom bestie, with some pretty sweet tools to help you get from where you are to where you want to be.
I’m originally from small town Midcoast Maine, now living life out in Southern California with my husband, baby boy, and pup. You’ll usually find me sipping a big ol’ water, a coffee, or a spicy margarita, sunnies on, with a baby in one hand and a dog in the other. I’m an eternal optimist but I like to keep it real. I’m a nerd at heart and spend lots of time reading about allll the things. I’m queen of over and under watering my plants. I’d rather clean bathrooms than sort mail or break down boxes. I’m usually belting out ballads and thinking I sound pretty darn good. I’m an all day grazer – snacks are my jam. Sometimes (pretty often) I swear. Sorry, not sorry.
I spent 10 years as a mental health therapist, along with doing life coaching, fitness and wellness coaching, and recovery coaching. What I saw across all those settings and in my personal circle, was shame at the root of so many people’s pain. And I myself spent so many years of life not willing to be vulnerable and not able to be fully me because I was so worried about proving my worth and showing up perfectly for everyone else – even if it meant compromising my own health and happiness in the process.
Once I became a mom it hit me how much those old patterns could impact my parenting and my ability to really show up the way I wanted to for life. So I committed to making changes and I practice a few things now that I know make me a better me, and a better mom…
Self-care is a daily necessity, not an occasional treat. Life gets messy sometimes and it’s much easier to embrace that than to fight it or push it away. The freedom and joy that comes when you start showing up as your authentic, imperfect self is freakin’ game-changing.
Cheers to you, mama. You’re already so much more than enough.
What if you could:
- Kick your self-doubting, I’m-not-enough beliefs to the curb…
- Regain your sense of self, feel accomplished, find purpose…
- Be totally okay knowing that you can’t do it all, all the time, perfectly, for everyone…
- Be kind to your body, feel comfortable in your skin again…
- Recharge however you need, do the little things that make you happy…
- Be present and thrive in the everyday
Reach out now, or
See more about what I’ve been up to here!